I'm giving God "yes."
Not a yes. Not a "yeah", or even an "o.k."
But a plain and simple "yes."
See, I'm gaining this new revelation on what it requires when I tell God yes. It's really hard for me to explain the thoughts going on inside of my head and spirit because I'm still figuring this thing out. I believe God is taking me through a serious of lessons in order for me to fully understand what it means to surrender and give Him all. Therefore I must write.
If you're like me, your entire "church" life you've heard pastors, teachers, leaders talk about giving over your will to God and pursuing His desire for your life. We even sing songs in church proclaiming a "Yes, Lord" but often times miss the true extent of which this declaration really means. We do it because it feels good and it sounds good, and God forbid we don't look the part and fit in with all the other half sincere yes's. (By the way, we've got to really get past that! I mean, really. Have you ever seen the reaction of saints when pastor requests us to do something that isn't comfortable? Even the little things. Like when we asked to stand or change the order of service. People get completely bent out of shape. We have conditioned our hearts to disrespect leadership and the flow of the Spirit when we get a huffy puffy spirit. I'm guilty of this as well. Just saying...)
I'm in a season of my life in which I need to be useful for God's complete purpose. I'm getting past doing what I've always done in the church because it's a new season and level I'm entering into. There has to be room made for others to fill positions and ministries. I truly believe in a "right people, right places" philosophy even if I have to get out of the way.
So I'm moving, so that God can move in me. I don't want Him to have to shove me out of the way because I'm serving in disobedience. (That's kind of an oxymoron, huh? Serving in disobedience isn't true servanthood.)
LESSON #1- Proclaim the Yes
But this time, sincerely mean it. That means, being open and willing to completely change your agenda, your plans, your level of comfort, your friends, your family, your time, your feelings to submission to the willed Yes's calling, strategy and agenda. This came to my spirit so strong. It seems hard, but really it's just a simple decision to fulfill the calling no matter what. I'm learning there can be failure in this, and it may take a few times to get it right. But if your heart is fixed toward God, He can work out the kinks.
I have a LOT of kinks. And right now, I am battling the struggle in my heart that remembers all of my flaws. This makes me want to feel unworthy of the call. But, I am comforted in Paul's words that says,
"It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. 17 For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden." -Romans 9:16-18
I'm thankful that I am not one of the ones He has chosen to harden, but that His mercy drenches me daily. His mercy is what keeps me, sustains me and blesses me to continue on this journey of giving Him a complete Yes.
Thank You, Father, for this journey.